Sunday 20 November 2011

Memorabilia of Kenya

Tourist in the park: "Wow, we managed to see ALL 4 of the big 5!"
Tourist at the hotel: "I don't want a masseur, I want a masseuse. My body is reserved to women"

Dialogue at the diving centre:
"Is it really 47 his fins size???" "Yes, he's the monster"


Difficult conversation with a Maasai at the foot of Mount Kilmanjaro:
"Are you from Italy? Ooooooh... Berlusconi, bunga bunga, not good!" "..."
"So, lady, you are not here to entertain the boys" "..."


My two "knights" talk to each other, spilling the beans in the Maasai Mara:
"Can you imagine a giraffe with a sore throat?" "Or a hippo with ear infection..."
"I go to work every day but I also cook, clean, iron, do the household and cut the trees" "Wow, you are a perfect Maasai woman"
"This is my T-shirt" "Yes! Men recognise their T-shirts from the sweat stains"

Local lady on the beach: "Come on, you got two man and I got none. Give me one!"

Wednesday 16 November 2011

People from Kenya

Colourful pictures of Kenya also come from its people. Not just the Maasai guys performing the traditional jumps to deserve the highest number of women, but also the other people who contributed to make this trip unique.

John, the driver-guide from Lake Victoria, drove incessantly on dirt roads and slippery mud, through the parks and across the whole country, from the Maasai Mara to Watamu. He showed the Kenya/Tanzania border, went off-roads when no rangers were in sight, chased a cheetah, yet failed to see a leopard hanging over the head of the happily unaware tourist.

Justin from Malindi, could have been from Milan: born in the country of "pole pole", he got no time to lose. If you don't serve him within 2 minutes, he is gone.

Luigi, italian expat who abandoned his previous life for some undisclosed reason and now lives on the Kenyan coast with his (new?) wife and 6 or 7 servants. He started his own business, built his own villa with a huge veranda and a pool, hired a cook preparing pasta with lobster for dinner, and all is patrolled by a guard armed with a bow.

Aissam, cute and smart kid who gets hypnotised at the view of a kite, plays with a tire through the narrow streets of Watamu. He knows well how to lead lost tourists along the New Bla Bla Bla Road and how to gratify them into to buy him icecreams at the local Italian Gelateria.

Jay, captain of a boat, who took me by hand to discover the beauties of the Indian Ocean's clear waters - and who would not have minded a European wife. As the unnamed seller of CDs in Narok: "If this guy mistreats you, come back and I'll take care of you". But not as explicit as Lydia: "I like white meat" (but after all she was targeting a man: no romance needed, she must have thought).

Surely, three European tourists, simple walk-ons in the big show, did not leave the same mark in all these people's lives.

Saturday 5 November 2011

Watamu


"We are not evil, we are just poor".

Welcome to Watamu, small town 20km south of Malindi: white beaches, secluded all-inclusive resorts, beach boys and a poor village of labyrinth streets.

Watamu is also 35 Italian residents, a very good Italian ice cream place, old white men hanging around with young girls and curious Kenyan kids running around you.

Watamu is my first (and mostly unjustified) shot of insecurity in Africa, is my first snorkeling in deep waters, my first mosquito bite in Kenya.

In Watamu someone found an old friend - but left again, someone found love - but didn't last, someone found a treasury - but did not recognise it.

Memories of Watamu will remain.

Thursday 3 November 2011

Oloitokitok

Around Oloitokitok you have beautiful views of mount Kilimanjaro. And a souvenir shop and parking for tours heading towards Tsavo park.
A few locals hang around, including some Maasai.

We learnt a bit of their culture visiting one village. For example that women build the house, have kids and then take care of everything, while men "patrol the village" and "solve problems" (created by themselves, I suppose, as women are quite busy doing everything else). A Maasai who wants a wife has to pay for her - with cows.

In Oloitokitok we practiced Maasai culture.

European tourist: do you want her? I can sell it for 100 cows.
Maasai: you should ask much more for her.
Maasai 1, European tourist 0

European tourist: but you know, she won't allow you to have any more women.
Maasai: a woman like her is worth 5 women, I don't need anyone else. When you have a woman like this, you should do everything to make her happy.
Maasai 2, European tourist 0

European tourist: I'm from Italy.
Maasai: ahi ahi ahi, Berlusconi, bunga bunga. Not good, too many scandals.
Maasai 3, European tourist 0