Malaysian dialogues

"So, you are from Brussel. How is the weather in Brussels?"
"Oh, it is crap"
"Why, too hot?" - Cultural differences

"Where are you from: Germany, Holland?" - Guess all Europeans look the same
"Where are you from: Jordan?" - Getting harder to figure out


Foot reflexology masseur: "Foot hurts here? It is the brain. You think too much" - Who am I to contradict the experts


"Do you like this Batik cloth? It is an original copy of Italian design. By the way, where are you from? - Should I tell him? 

I remember you did not eat rice

How far can one go in Malaysia if she does not eat rice? Far, very far. And happily so.

Can you eat spicy food? Tom yam soup with sea food? Can, can.
Penang style Kway Teaw? Can, can.
Steamed pow? Chicken in Pandan leaves? Can, can.
Beef rendang? Can, can.
Red snapper or pomfret? Grilled please.

Hawker food? No hesitation!

"Shall we go eat at the American restaurant? Just to relax your stomach with western food." 

Oh, for Goodness sake, no!

My fruit chapter is quite long. Fruit whose existence I completely ignored popped up on the table, straight to my mouth: custard apple, dokong, longan, mangoustine, dragon fruit, guava. 

At the end, spoiled by superb fresh mango, coconut and water melon juice, I'm not sure I'll be able to drink anymore the stuff we sell back in Europe.


My roller coaster ride into new flavours had to stop somewhere and it did.

It stopped at the encounter with stinky Durian. The - ahem - "king of fruit" is big in Malaysia but I realised I better survive without it. And it stopped again with the Cengdol and a bunch of other gummy sweets involving the use of red beans. That far I could not go. 


Luckily, besides the Cengdol, Malacca has got unforgettable pineapple tarts. Yummi!

Pulau Langkawi

Read the guide and it tells you that it is all about booze and crowds. I will remember Langkawi for its superb mango juice and for the screaming waves.

Langkawi is big folks, writes the Lonely Planet. Well, it is true. half an hour taxi ride to go anywhere. At least you don't pay more than 6-7 euros each ride. Btw, for peace of mind, tariffs are regulated, in case you are wondering.

My perfect day in Langkawi started with a walk in the bat cave and a cruise on the mangroove river, where vegetation is thick, eagles go hunting and monkeys steal your pastic bags. The visit included first feeding the fish in the fish farm, then tasting the well-fed fish in the fish farm restaurant.

A stop at the cable car to witness the beauty of the island from above was complemented by a chat with the occasional Malays going up or down with you - short ride but long enough for them to chat you up, take a photo of you and ask for the email address of this exotic tourist from Europe.

Back to base, a little roasting in the afternoon sun, dinner cooked by some Malay mama at the port and listening to the sound of the waves splashing the golden sand: one of those days you wish could not end.

Air Asia

Special mention for the "best low cost carrier in the world" (Copyright: Asia-lover scuba diving friend).

Purchased for 1 ringit (25 Eurocents), inspired by Ryanair business model, so far it managed not to become the pain in the neck the Irish carrier has converted itself into.

Air Asia gives you an assigned seat - although probably the last you would have chosen. It does not oblige you to put your handbag, computer and sandwiches all in one cabine luggage. It sells real food on board and has the best flight attendants ever: not trying to sell you lottery tickets, not making noises or trumpeted announcements and wearing jeans and cute slim-fit shirts.

Perhaps, after you have tried Ryanair, you just get happy with small things.

Malacca

"Hot" has just acquired a new meaning in Malacca (or Melaka), due to the sun hitting like a  hammer the visitors exploring this ancient and cute town.

Malacca is a pure blend of many different cultures. Our beautiful hotel is a sumptuous traditional Baba-Nyonya house. The Baba-Nyonya themselves are a mixed culture of Chinese and Malay. The stroll in Jonker walk ends with a huge Chinese Dragon hanging over the main crossroad (the not-so-photogenic Rabbit year is over).

The streets of the old town are full of Chinese heritage (temples and shops) and lead to the main square sporting a Stadthuys and a church. Climb the Fort hill and find what remains of Malacca's Portuguese and Dutch glorious past in the old days of the spice trade.

The gastronomic and shopping expeditions were also pretty successful. I totally fell in love with Malacca's pineapple tarts and I bought my own kebaya and a couple of cheongsam (qipao).
While I have no doubt that my stock of pineapple tarts will soon be gone, I am still wondering if there will be any occasions to wear Malaysian traditional clothes back in my side of the world.

Feelomaysia

And then, there was the time I landed in Asia.

I had not been too attracted by this part of the world before. I think it is because I like drier lands, maybe. Or perhaps in my previous life as a RAF pilot I have been shot down in this area and now I am afraid of going back to the region. Who knows, speculations. Malaysia here I went.

Everything started off as a full immersion in Malaysian-Chinese culture, courtesy of my friends whose wedding I came for.

Hospitality is sacred and the guest gets fed, pampered, driven around, paid everything, all the time.

Breakfast means noodles, spicy chicken, rendang beef, dim sum and honey lime. Not that lunches and dinners are any different. A wedding meal has 8 courses, including rice and dessert, and has to be celebrated with loud toasts "iaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam seng" - or something like that - by the 400 or so guests.

Interesting to discuss with the locals and to learn that in their view western women are too submissive (i.e. forget about your Malaysian wife if passivity and obedience is what you are after).

And then there was Kuala Lumpur, KL, with its highways, its heat, its mix of races, its traffic jams and its breathtaking skyline.